Love is a universal language. Or, at least that’s what we’ve been told. In his best-selling book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, author Gary Chapman identifies not one or two love languages but five: gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service, according to Blinkist.
Each love language shows how a person demonstrates their love and can vary from person to person. However, out of all love languages, acts of service may be one of the most misunderstood love languages because many partners associate “service” with tasks or chores. To many people, this love language means your partner needs you to do work to show love, but is that truly the case? Not really.
Very Well Mind says that acts of service can mean paying attention to the small details of your partner. For example, knowing their daily coffee order or what time their favorite TV show comes on can show how much you love them. The small things mean a lot to people with acts of service as their love language.
There are small ways you can support your partner's love language
Another form of support is learning your partner’s dislikes, according to Very Well Mind. If your partner is continuously saying how much they hate doing the dishes or keeping up with the bills, you can show your support by offering to do the dishes or maintaining the bill schedule.
Blinkist also says that embracing spontaneity is a good form of support for your partner’s act of service love language. If you’re doing a service that your partner never expected or asked you to, it not only shows that you’re listening but also how much you care. After all, your partner only wants to know how much you care for them.
While it’s important for you to show “service” to your partner, it’s equally as important for you to set up boundaries. It’s okay to say “no” to a task that makes you uncomfortable.
Love languages are hard, especially when your partner identifies as an “act of service.” But, that’s the beauty of a relationship — discovering how you and your partner fit well. It’ll take some time, sure, but now you know how to support them. The relationship is only expected to last.
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